[overflow] Re: GHHS

[Lee Gold <leeway@xxxxxxxxxxxx>]

Digging up an old comment I put aside till I thought I could
comment on it sanely.

Rob 'Autographed Cat' Wynne wrote:
> 
> At 08:33 AM 3/29/01, Michelle & Boyd Bottorff wrote:
> >I eventually developed an attitude of "I am so much better than you,
> >that I don't need to care what you say."  Whether this counts and a
> >scarring of my psyche, and whether I'm in danger of becoming a
> >sociopath, I leave it to you all to determine, but as you might have
> >noticed I do not apply it universally, only to people who display
> >re-occurant "unexceptable" behavior.
> 
> For what it's worth, I have the same defense reaction.  My family brought
> me up to believe that I /was/ better than most folks.  

My parents started working really hard on this when I announced in
the fifth grade that a C was a respectable average grade.  (Well,
first they had me given an IQ test; then they told me I wasn't
average.)

Oh, you mean "better" morally.  I figured that out somehow from
reading Heinlein and Kipling and other people who wrote about Honor.

> But I've stressed to people for years that you only need take to heart the
> opinions of those who you respect.  Everyone is entitled to their opinions,
> but they are not entitled to have you accept them.  As Eleanor Roosevelt
> once said, "No one can make you feel inferior without your consent."

I contend that humans are a social species and hard wired to care about
other people's opoinions.  Yes, you can refuse to give intellectual
weight to them.  No, I don't think a non-psychopath can decide not to
be affected.  The rest of us just have to grit our teeth and go on
anyway.

And of course, carrying on is even harder if the people trying to
make you feel inferior are your parents or other people you love
and don't want to break off your relationship with.  

I do wish people wouldn't talk as if our emotions were electronic
relays we could fine tune (On, Off, More Green, More Treble)
when we all know that's not how it works.

--Lee Gold