[critique] Re: REWRITING Make a Wish

[Lee Gold <leeway@xxxxxxxxxxxx>]

Rob Wynne wrote:
> 
> On Thu, 15 Feb 2001, Rob Wynne wrote
> > > I'd swap these two 'round.
> >
> and Lee Gold wrote
> > But if I do that, I've got a crew before I've
> > established a spaceship, and I think that's
> > confusing.
> 
> Well, no.  You've had a spaceship all along, and you're moving from
> mystery to clarity.  I think knowing it's a spaceship BEFORE the verse
> about the crew is anticlimatic.

I think this is a de gustibus non disputandum est issue, but I'll have it sung for people and see
what they think.  For me, the fact that it's a spaceship is less of an emotional charge than the
fact that it's being deliberately steered to burn up in
the atmosphere, but certainly you have the right to rearrange the verses (or every rewrite them). 
I'll let it sit around for a week or two and then post it here again
if it's changed significantly.

My thanks to everyone who participated in this discussion for their help.
It was invaluable.

--Lee