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[critique] Re: REWRITING Make a Wish


	> A comet's glowing ice and gas.
	> 	When it burns across the sky,
	> But this light's not a comet's pass.
	> 	Wish that it won't die.
	> 
is this verse as needed as the rest? A nearby verse says almost the same
thing. And you wanted the song as short as practical, if I read you
correctly.
Sean