[critique] Re: REVISED SONG: Make a Wish - take two

[Lee Gold <leeway@xxxxxxxxxxxx>]

Sean Cleary wrote:
> 
> Well I can ask as though I am a child: Was there anyone on that ship?
> Did they get off? Will it be alright (favorite question of child). If
> everyone is OK, then why are you sad?

There's a spaceship crew .
Everyone dies.  
And so, of course, does everyone it falls on if it doesn't
burn fully up in the atmosphere on re-entry.  

Belated realization:  That's why it needs a very long re-entry.
> 
> Or I can ask as an adult: how did you know that it was a tragedy? Was it
> like MIR, a long and good effort but now regretfully going to be junked?
> Should we be sad? The destruction of a 'noble' robot?

For the last hour or so, people have been trying to save the people 
aboard the ship, there wasn't enough time or good enough technology.  

I'll see if I can find words to make all this a bit more explicit, 
but I want to hold it down to just one more verse if at all possible.
I am, however, reluctant to spell everything out in boring detail.
And even if I did, it wouldn't be enough for everyone.
(I'm thinking of one filker I know who heard Simpson's "Ship of
Stone" and didn't understand what it was about.)

--Lee