[critique] Re: New Song: I've Got a Little List

[Lee Gold <leeway@xxxxxxxxxxxx>]

Martin Julian DeMello wrote:
> 
> As someday it may happen that my patience should be tried
> I've got a little list, I've got a little list
> I can open with a stroke, and simply drop a name inside
> And it ceases to exist, it ceases to exist

I'd change that first line to 
	Since it happens every now and then my patience is sore-tried
since otherwise it sounds as if the singer's patience has never 
been tried before, until we found out the kill list is already set up.
> 
> There's the petty little pedants who correct my every slip
> The dolts who talk of netiquette - I've had it with their lip
> The self-appointed topic cops, and those who pay 'em heed
> The person who inquires if there's *anyone* I read
> And people who make snide remarks about the posts I've missed
> They oughtn't to exist - they oughtn't to exist
> 
> He'll add them to the list (he'll add them to the list)
> And they simply won't exist, they simply won't exist
> 
> Then the people who complain that public plonking is a crime
> They must be round the twist - I'll add them to the list
	I've heard "round the bend" but not "round the twist".
	Is it new?
> The irritating prats who say that flames should be in rhyme
> They oughtn't to exist, they oughtn't to exist
> And the sad, pathetic followers of long-outdated rules
> The people who quote Godwin and a bunch of other fools
	I don't know who Godwin is.
> All the simple-minded morons who should not be on the net
> The ones who tick me off, then wonder *why* I get upset
> And the jerks who know they bother me, but none the less persist
	"nonetheless" is one word
> They oughtn't to exist - they just should not exist
> 
> He'll put 'em on the list - he'll put 'em on the list
> And they'll none of them exist - they simply won't exist.

pedanticly, --Lee Gold