[critique] Re: New Song: Yonder comes a Filker

[Sean Cleary <SCleary@xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx>]

Love really funny songs. 
Love Cold Iron for the irony when looked at via a certain viewpoint.
Love songs that celebrate something. Or stir the emotions. Or have a
point. Or care. Or do something.
Kinda like this song, wish it could be better. On the other hand, should
I ever do as well as this song I will be happy.
Sean


	-----Original Message-----
	From:	Rob 'Autographed Cat' Wynne [SMTP:doc@america.net]
	Sent:	Tuesday, February 13, 2001 10:37
	To:	critique@filknet.org
	Subject:	[critique] Re: New Song:  Yonder comes a Filker

	Sean,

	Don't take this the wrong way, but do you /like/ funny songs?
You are 
	displaying absolutely no sense of humor with regards to a song
whose tone 
	is whimsical, if not outright ironic.

	Rob


	At 01:05 PM 2/13/01, you wrote:
	>It seems to twist a bit. In the first few verses you are
objecting,
	>later you are accepting.
	>There is no transformational/transitional verse where you give
reason or
	>life experience to change. Or even say: 'but on the balance...'
	>Why bother to fear if you actually like or can tolerate the
process and
	>what it brings you?
	>Sean
	>
	>         -----Original Message-----
	>         From:   kyttn@comclin.net [SMTP:kyttn@comclin.net]
	>         Sent:   Monday, February 12, 2001 19:12
	>         To:     critique@filknet.org
	>         Subject:        [critique] Re: New Song:  Yonder comes
a Filker
	>
	>
	>
	>         Lee Gold wrote:
	>         >
	>         > I wrote a new song just yesterday             past
	>         > A brand new song, I'm gonna play              future
	>         > The words are sweet, the tune is clear,
present
	>         > and yet I share my song with fear
present
	>         >
	>         > Bhodran, doumbeck, 12-string and bassoon
	>         > Yonder comes Phil Allcock, and he stole my tune
present /
	>past
	>         >
	>         >I'm bothered by the inconsistent tenses.
	>         >
	>         >The original starts in the past with a contrasting
chorus
	>         >in the present which seems less confusing.  I wish
you'd take
	>         >that "Yonder comes Whozit and he's got my tune" and
use it
	>         >for the Phil Allcock version too.
	>
	>         Lee, thanks for the input!  Unfortunately life got in
the way
	>and
	>         I've not been
	>         able to respond before now.  The reasoning for putting
"Phil
	>Allcock,
	>         and he
	>         stole my tune" was because I wanted it to reference
Phil's song
	>         "Thank you
	>         for the music, the songs I'm stealing" (the filk of
ABBA's Thank
	>You
	>         for the
	>         Music).  I considered an alternate verse:
	>
	>                   I wrote a new song, just yesterday
	>                   Went to a con, my song to play
	>                   The words are sweet, the tune is clear
	>                   And yet I shared my song with fear
	>
	>         Do you think that works any better?
	>
	>         Also, we decided to add a final verse and edited
chorus to show
	>just
	>         how much we worry about
	>         parodies....:
	>
	>              The finest form of flattery
	>              In filking is a parody
	>              It makes them laugh, it makes them look
	>              It brings your tune to more song books
	>
	>              Bhodran, doumbeck, 12-string and bassoon
	>              Yonder comes a filker and he's got my tune
	>              And I've passed the test, achieved success,
	>              My song's just been parodied!
	>
	>
	>         Maya (kyttn)
	>

	-- 
	Rob Wynne / The Autographed Cat / doc@america.net
	The best original science-fiction and fantasy on the web:
	    Aphelion Webzine:  http://www.aphelion-webzine.com/
	Gafilk 2002: Jan 11-13, 2002, Atlanta, GA --
http://www.gafilk.org

	"I've often said that the difference between British and
American SF TV
	series is that the British ones have three-dimensional
characters and
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around."
	                                            --Ross Smith