[critique] Re: New Song: Yonder comes a Filker

["Rob 'Autographed Cat' Wynne" <doc@xxxxxxxxxxx>]

Sean,

Don't take this the wrong way, but do you /like/ funny songs?   You are 
displaying absolutely no sense of humor with regards to a song whose tone 
is whimsical, if not outright ironic.

Rob


At 01:05 PM 2/13/01, you wrote:
>It seems to twist a bit. In the first few verses you are objecting,
>later you are acceptiing.
>There is no transformational/transitional verse where you give reason or
>life experience to change. Or even say: 'but on the balance...'
>Why bother to fear if you actually like or can tolerate the process and
>what it brings you?
>Sean
>
>         -----Original Message-----
>         From:   kyttn@comclin.net [SMTP:kyttn@comclin.net]
>         Sent:   Monday, February 12, 2001 19:12
>         To:     critique@filknet.org
>         Subject:        [critique] Re: New Song:  Yonder comes a Filker
>
>
>
>         Lee Gold wrote:
>         >
>         > I wrote a new song just yesterday             past
>         > A brand new song, I'm gonna play              future
>         > The words are sweet, the tune is clear,       present
>         > and yet I share my song with fear             present
>         >
>         > Bhodran, doumbeck, 12-string and bassoon
>         > Yonder comes Phil Allcock, and he stole my tune   present /
>past
>         >
>         >I'm bothered by the inconsistent tenses.
>         >
>         >The original starts in the past with a contrasting chorus
>         >in the present which seems less confusing.  I wish you'd take
>         >that "Yonder comes Whozit and he's got my tune" and use it
>         >for the Phil Allcock version too.
>
>         Lee, thanks for the input!  Unfortunately life got in the way
>and
>         I've not been
>         able to respond before now.  The reasoning for putting "Phil
>Allcock,
>         and he
>         stole my tune" was because I wanted it to reference Phil's song
>         "Thank you
>         for the music, the songs I'm stealing" (the filk of ABBA's Thank
>You
>         for the
>         Music).  I considered an alternate verse:
>
>                   I wrote a new song, just yesterday
>                   Went to a con, my song to play
>                   The words are sweet, the tune is clear
>                   And yet I shared my song with fear
>
>         Do you think that works any better?
>
>         Also, we decided to add a final verse and edited chorus to show
>just
>         how much we worry about
>         parodies....:
>
>              The finest form of flattery
>              In filking is a parody
>              It makes them laugh, it makes them look
>              It brings your tune to more song books
>
>              Bhodran, doumbeck, 12-string and bassoon
>              Yonder comes a filker and he's got my tune
>              And I've passed the test, achieved success,
>              My song's just been parodied!
>
>
>         Maya (kyttn)
>

-- 
Rob Wynne / The Autographed Cat / doc@america.net
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