[critique] Yonder comes a Filker: The whips, The hot coals.

[Sean Cleary <SCleary@xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx>]

I lack the Deja news to post this.
So you might post it.
This title of this message may stop you from reading it, and that may be
ok anyway.
I am not sure one of my songs could take this level of criticism.





See below as per spoilers.

















But, the song lacks passion. It is good, not great. It has good lines,
and I might find myself singing it, but where is the feeling? Where is
the pain? I am not sure that it is not a parody of the feelings
expressed, a satire? How do you feel when parodied? You object when the
subject is changed to offensive humor, but at a almost parliamentary
objection level, not a passionate level, not from hurt feelings, but
from vaguely offended sense of something.
Please explain the feeling of violation(??) to someone who would be
honored to produce anything good enough to be parodied.

Sean

	-----Original Message-----
	From:	kyttn@comclin.net [SMTP:kyttn@comclin.net]
	Sent:	Thursday, February 08, 2001 21:17
	To:	critique@filknet.org
	Subject:	[critique] New Song:  Yonder comes a Filker

	Obviously I am a glutton for punishment since I am sending this
song
	to both rmf and the critique list.  All suggestions and critique
is
	very welcome, just spare the cat-o-nine tails.... can't take
quite
	that much punishment!

	Thanks,
	Maya


	TTTO: Yonder Comes a Sucker by Jim Reeves
	New lyrics by: Maya Corbin and Greg McMullan
	 
	I wrote a new song just yesterday
	A brand new song, I'm gonna play
	The words are sweet, the tune is clear,
	and yet I share my song with fear
	 
	Bhodran, doumbeck, 12-string and bassoon
	Yonder comes Phil Allcock, and he stole my tune
	And it's gone all wrong, yes its all gone wrong
	My song's just been parodied.
	 
	Kathy Mar wrote Velveteen
	About a bunny and his dream
	The songworm came with heart so cold
	Wrote Dear Departed, 'bout love and mold
	 
	Bhodran, doumbeck, 12-string and bassoon
	Yonder comes Kanefsky, and he's got my tune
	And it's all gone wrong, oh that's Just Wrong
	My song's just been parodied.
	 
	So write your song to please Dorsai
	Or write your song to make folks cry
	Someone will come, some wicked fan
	And turn Pooh's friend into glazed ham.
	 
	Bhodran, doumbeck, 12-string and bassoon
	Yonder comes that Smith guy, and he's got my tune
	And it's all gone wrong, yes its gone all wrong
	My song's just been parodied.